and now it is Sept 2013, Delaney has started Gr. 7 at Dalmeny high school. Life continues at it's constant pace, always moving forward and every day another day longer that we haven't seen our Dougie. And today,  to break my heart yet again, as I'm going out to the grave site,  D says to me, "tell Daddy I love him", just like I was really just going for a visit. This should not be part of life for a sweet 12 year old...and so today, I'm just a wee bit grumpy. It'll pass as it always does, and if the next year goes as fast as the time since I moved into our new house, I could even be retired by the next time I think to blog here!

New House

This grey wall is in the family room, everyone's fave place! Look how small the big screen looks!

 Fireplace, another of my favourite things.

Kitchen island--thus far, used for everything--homework, eating, visiting, food prep...love it.

The view from the deck--just for the prairie girl I am.

We're here! All moved in but far from unpacked! Looks like settling in will be an all summer job. Delaney's room is done, just looking for a few of her pictures to complete everything. Now on to finishing the kitchen unpacking.

Moving Day

Tomorrow is moving day! And it is exciting to be doing something quite fun. How did we get to this point? The process is interesting, and amazing--to me, anyway. First, a beautiful house is built across the street from Dana. We watch it being built all last summer, Dana always says "mom, go and look at it" and I say "no, it'll be too much money for me". Over the fall, the house is listed, and the price is too hig. But after some time passes, the price drops, and then drops again. I go look at the house, and drag all my family to see it too. With positive comments and affirmations from said family, I make an offer--and voila, house is mine pending the sale of the Cedar Ave. home. I call the agent, and to my surprise, my old house is sold in 3 weeks (annoying process, but--it is really sold). Then after a couple anxious days, my offer is accepted for the Hedley beautiful new house...and a-moving we will go!
Now, to be clear, Delaney is not thrilled leaving her growing up home, and all her memories of her dad. and I still think leaving Dalmeny would not have been terrible. But I did say to Miss D that this move is not all about her, the move is for me. I will have my big house on an small (well, smaller) lot, have lovely new neighbours and very importantly, have my own bathroom!
Since tomorrow is moving day, it really should be bedtime. So off I go to dream about packing boxes, paint colours, and sore knees. Moving story to be continued...

Widow's Voice: Speaking to the Ghost of Christmas Past

Widow's Voice: Speaking to the Ghost of Christmas Past: The day Phil died, my world was irrevocably changed. No amount of crying, wishing, or begging could switch my new reality back to the realit...

Christmas Again

December-how did you get here? Time unmeasurable, heart still broken, life unfathomable. Tears are always at the ready these December days. Dragging the tree up the stairs, tears. Ornaments unpacked, tears. Shopping, tears. Amazingly though, the world has colour. Glitter, sparkle, lovely melodies, lights, beauty. Tears make lovely colours around all the bright objects.

Doug, we love you forever and always.

Birthday #3 Without You

August 4-To Doug,

You would now be 59 years old! Weird at how I'm catching up to you, I'll be 55 and you died at 56. It was always Doug and Deb, Doug 4 years older, the first August birthday, then Tanis's, Ollie's, Channing's , Deb's. This year, we just let the day slip away. Delaney, missing Dad so so much, chose some beautiful Red lilies and we took them to the grave. You would really love the prairie view there, hope the deer come visit.

We spent a couple days at Wakaw Lake, and Delaney caught her first fish, thanks to Ryan and Dan. Dana told her Dad would be proud, and You would have loved the fishing, but not the 74 steps down to their dock!

Hmm, I start these writings with so much to say, and then so few words come out. Anyway, Happy birthday Dougie, we just miss you each and every day.

Father's Day #3 without Doug, and this one was tough. Cried more today than I have for a long time, tears for my kids and their kids. So sad for Delaney that at only 10, she has to deal with this every day, not just the special days. Sad for me for many reasons, nothing new there. So, we cried together, chatted about a few things, and then-went shopping! We even stopped for DQ Blizzards. SO glad this day is done.