It has been over a year since Dougie died. It is not easier to do "things" the second time without him, and in some ways it seems even harder. The reality of aloneness is brought to the fore every day as I parent Delaney, play with grandkids and worry about my big kids. Decisions about house, yard, money, work/career just go on and on. Then there are the physical demands of house, everyday living, garbage, decluttering. This is part of the " lamentation". Yet there is joy. Delaney sings and whistles when she plays-I worried that would be gone forever. I am able to provide for my now family of 2 at a job that I enjoy, reno decisions have been ok thus far (thanks, Trevor), and we've been able to do some travelling (Delaney thinks our next trip should be to Italy, hmmm). I have family and friends that make me feel loved. I have a Lord who says He will sustain me, carry me and rescue me (Isaiah 46:4). I am single, but perhaps I'm not really alone, I am blessed.

After a year of journaling, I am inspired by my Dear Daughter Dana to start a blog. A broken heart, a new life for me and my family... It is a lonely journey, and a lonely life. Maybe expressing some of this in a different forum will help, so on I go....