Something clicked in my head this past week, perhaps some activity neurons were reawakened after some time of not being used! Anyway, I must become much more active--and indeed, the movement has begun! Is this part of a reawakening of my brain after a year of "suspended animation"? Volleyball, Zumba, walking...part of the summer routine? This is the only 'moving' I'll be doing this year. The journey continues....

Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day alone, but I rejoice being a mom. With God as creator, Doug and I made beautiful, awesome, fun kids. A gift, blessing, challenge, comfort, joy, raison d'etre. I watch Dave, so like his dad in manner and laugh, Dana with dark eyes and hair with her dad's definite sense of right and wrong, Delaney loving to look after flowers, whistling while she plays, sharing her favourite memories of her dad. Mom, mama -yes, all intact. Joy indeed.

Buddies

My griefshare buddies met for lunch today and WOW. I was reminded so very powerfully why I have connected so well with this group. The common concerns---how do we look after the yard without our husbands, how long will we wear our wedding rings, how are our children-big and smaller-doing with their lives, moving from one house to another as a single person--ever poignant reminders of our changed status. And in spite of the range of ages, we have our ever present sadness as a bond. A few friends keep in touch regularly, but the change in me has been to my very marrow--I am not the same, nor will I be the 'old' me. This sadness is not always visible, but it is always palpable ( nurse talk now, it seems), just under the surface, quite easy to find but at the same time easy for others to ignore. For this very reason, I love these "buddies" who know this hidden part of me.