Christmas #2 without Dougie, makes me cry (yep, still cry almost everyday). I want to make things fun for Delaney, but I find I am really missing a balance in my thoughts, and probably my actions. Where is the yes to my no, the white to my black, the joke to my serious thoughts? So lonely for that missing part of self, the Doug to my Deb. Still half of a couple, not a single person yet. I don't like this, not at all.