Today is day 9 of the 30 days of gratitude, and good friends is the topic. This has been on my mind of late for several reasons. When having lunch with an out of town friend, we got to the topic of Delaney and me moving-what are we going to do? Then she said, " I bet you have lots of friends saying- Don't go!" My reply- well, no, I only have a couple friends that actually talk (meaning keep in touch) with me these days. Hmmm, not what she expected. This is not what I expected either! I suspect ( but don't know for sure) that some people feel glad ( and then guilty) that they are not me. Others feel guilty when they find that keeping in touch has now become a chore. I am NOT going to dwell on this, it is what it is. What I am doing, tho', is assess what kind of friend I am to others. And yes, I am the neglectful one. So, I am going to do something about this. No more procrastination, today is my friend day. Friends, both old and new, are something to be cherished, and for all my friends, even those I don't often see or talk to, I am grateful.

Today my cousin Kim buried her 21 year old sweet boy, Chaz. Sorrow, sadness, family and friends were the themes of the afternoon. It was poignant and heart wrenching to see the tears of Chaz's family and friends. Now, I know as a Christian, we are not as those who have no hope. But today was a day to celebrate the tears, be sad for those who mourn and just be an older cousin.

I'm always blogging in my head--interesting or annoying or challenging things happen, then I make up my blog about the event. Funny thing is, it does not end up on this site. It just rattles around in my head, composing words, different ways to say things so people don't get hurt, how can I write it so I look intelligent...on and on. One good aspect of this non=blogging is I realize how much happens around me. Current events, government decisions, family conflicts all give rise to my personal editorial--I am thinking critically about my world--I am NOT stuck in myself! This is good.

Now another story. This comes from Doug's oldest brother, John--Beer Sales in Saltcoats.

This goes back a lot of years, this memory, to about 1956 or 1957. John was about 10 years old, Gordon (brother #2) was about 8, and Doug was about 4 years old.

" Gordon and I (John) , being the terrific and kind role models that we were as Doug's older brothers, let Doug tag along with us often as we played. Now, this particular afternoon, Gordon, Doug and I were paying in and climbing up on some "swather-like" farm equipment in the lot of a Farm Equipment dealer. Just as we jumped into the swather box, we discovered a box. A box that we weren't familiar with, so we rattled it a bit and there was a clinking of glass-so we opened the box. Lo and behold, it was beer! Someone had stashed a case of beer. Now, we weren't the most street-smart trio in town, but we did know that this was a treasure that our dad would not appreciated--so we decided to sell it.

It was pretty heavy for 3 little kids so we went home and got our wagon. By this time Doug was getting tired so he rode and Gordon and I pulled the wagon back. We loaded up the beer and Doug has to make sure he held it so we didn't lose our precious cargo-away we went.

We went door to door selling beer. How adorable, a little guy n the wagon latching onto a case of beer. Bear in mind, this was a little town where everyone knew everyone and here were the children of Art Shanks ( upstanding citizen, respected teacher, dedicated Superintendent of the Sunday School) peddling beer. They must have been so impressed with how he was bringing up his children! To end the story, Doug sold the beer to an old bachelor on the edge of town. He wanted to by Doug, too, but we knew we were already in trouble, so we decided we shouldn't sell Doug, too."

Thanks, John.

Brothers

Younger brothers were a constant in my life-cars, guns, fighting. It also meant I never had to share a room! One of the first times Doug came over for supper, we were all sitting at the dining room table . Brothers always felt the need to "show" off and goofing aplenty, trying to be the funniest, you know. A brother was sitting beside Doug, and was after one particularly funny moment, started to cough on his roast beef, promptly throwing up on Doug's lap. Doug, having 2 older and 1 younger brother, just got up, washed off and continued on with the visit. He was a keeper (Doug that is.)

The Beginning..

Another morning, 4 am, sitting in my living room AWAKE. Should I read instead of surfing? No, I think I'll take my musing from lamenting to reminiscing...

How did Doug and I meet? I was in grade 10, young thing, right? Doug had returned to YRHS (Yorkton Regional High School) to upgrade his high school marks after a solo trip to New Zealand, and he was sharing his younger brother's locker--which was right across the hall from mine. He had asked out a couple other girls that I knew, but things just hadn't worked out.I was waiting for a call from another guy (hmm, also older, weird) but this Doug called and asked for a date to a movie. Well, off we went, but I had a girlfriend coming for a sleepover, so movie then right home (the theatre was 2 blocks from my house). After that outing, I had stated to everyone that I didn't think we'd be going out again--he was nice, but not my type-whatever that was. I continued waiting for the other guy to call, but that didn't happen. Apparently, other guy was told NOT to bother, Deb was now dating someone else. and so the direction of my life was set...I thought going out with Doug again would be fun, and let's be totally honest...he had the most awesome car in the Yorkton teen world...'71 green Camaro, always keep shiny and full of gas. Thinking about this and talking out loud to myself, I know we would NEVER have encouraged/allowed our teen daughters to date an older guy , but without this guy, I would not have the super awesome kids I have...

Let's put the seniors in jail and the felons in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counselling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing - i.e.., shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free upon request..

There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a computer, T. V., phone and radio in their room at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the Canadian Civil Liberties Association would fight for their rights and protection.

The orderlies would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.


As for the felons:

They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week.

They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month.

They would have no hope of ever getting out.

Interesting.

Yesterday a dear lady met me in the grocery store in Dalmeny and asked, "Is it really true that Doug is gone?" Why yes, dear lady, he is dead. Answer her questions, don't cry, finish shopping, act 'ok', go home and keep going. While I am able to do the motions of continuing with life, my being is still sad. These last few nights, the moon has been shining so brightly in my bedroom window. Delaney says it's a nightlight, and it is lovely. It also makes me melancholy and lonely. Is heaven up there, past the stars and the moon? Is there beautiful nature that Doug enjoyed so very much? Can he see my tears, and know how much I miss him? No answers until heaven, but questions continue to swirl around me. and yes, it is true that Doug is gone.